"When two people become one flesh by
way of marriage,
it is not only their hearts that are united,
but their minds and souls as well............"
DILSHAD SAIFI....
+91- 9871758199
WHAT IS OUR LIFE...? THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR US. WE SHOULD BE FIND THE ANSWER OF THIS QUESTION, MAY IT WILL BE DELLAY...? WE ALL HAVE A LAST WISH THAT WE WOULD BE RESPECTED BY OUR CHILDREN... BUT QUESTION IS THAT ARE WE DOING THE SAME WITH OUR PARENTS.....?????? THINK ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY... PLEASE... KAHIN DER NA HO JAAYE...........
02 November 2010
08 September 2010
06 September 2010
Love is simple, respect, trust and understanding.
We live such short lives with loads of problems, stress, crisis.
There is evil but it is certainly man made.
Greed, selfishness, egos and intolerance are the main reason for evil.
Kids at school should learn simple values that will keep them good for life.
Love each other, help each other please....................................................
03 September 2010
40 TIPS FOR YOUR HEALTH
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga and prayer. They provide uswith daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foodthat is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Insteadinvest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problemsare simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away likealgebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what theirjourney is all about. Don’t compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you..
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friendswill. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up..
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Eat more fruits and Vegetables. Good for Health.
39. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
40. when you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it...
DILSHAD SAIFI.....
+91 - 9015563789
HOPEEEe.........
So many stories here. So much hope.
I'm grateful to all the patients here.
Though I haven't met each one,
their presence alone reminds me of the healing power of hope.
I wonder what you, dear reader, hope for.
DILSHAD SAIFI....
17 August 2010
Three best things
Three best things:
A little seed in good soil
A few cows in good grass
A few friends in tavern.........
A little seed in good soil
A few cows in good grass
A few friends in tavern.........
06 August 2010
There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.......................................
DILSHAD SAIFI.......
23 July 2010
11 July 2010
Equanimity: The Radical Permission to Feel
Equanimity is a fundamental skill for self-exploration and emotional intelligence. It is a deep and subtle concept frequently misunderstood and easily confused with suppression of feeling, apathy or inexpressiveness.
Equanimity comes from the Latin word aequus meaning balanced, and animus meaning spirit or internal state. As an initial step in understanding this concept, let's consider for a moment its opposite: what happens when a person loses internal balance.
In the physical world we say a person has lost balance if they fall to one side or another. In the same way a person loses internal balance if they fall into one or the other of the following contrasting reactions:
Suppression –A state of though/feeling arises and we attempt to cope with it by stuffing it down, denying it, tightening around it, etc.
Identification –A state of thought/feeling arises and we fixate it, hold onto it inappropriately, not letting it arise, spread and pass with its natural rhythm.
Between suppression on one side and identification on the other lies a third possibility, the balanced state of non-self-interference…equanimity. […]
Equanimity belies the adage that you cannot “have your cake and eat it too.”When you apply equanimity to unpleasant sensations, they flow more readily and as a result cause less suffering. When you apply equanimity to pleasant sensations, they also flow more readily and as a result deliver deeper fulfillment. The same skill positively affects both sides of the sensation picture. Hence the following equation:
Psycho-spiritual Purification = (Pain x Equanimity) + (Pleasure x Equanimity)
Furthermore, when feelings are experienced with equanimity, they assure their proper function as motivators and directors of behavior as opposed to driving and distorting behavior. Thus equanimity plays a critical role in changing negative behaviors such as substance and alcohol abuse, compulsive eating, anger, violence, and so forth.
Equanimity involves non-interference with the natural flow of subjective sensation. Apathy implies indifference to the controllable outcome of objective events. Thus, although seemingly similar, equanimity and apathy are actually opposites. Equanimity frees up internal energy for responding to external situations. By definition, equanimity involves radical permission to feel and as such is the opposite of suppression. As far as external expression of feeling is concerned, internal equanimity gives one the freedom to externally express or not, depending on what is appropriate to the situation.
--Shinzen Young, from "What is Equanimity"
DILSHAD SAIFI......
A REAL ART TO LIVING......
There is a real art to living, one that could be described through many words. If I had to choose just one, however, it would be equanimity. While equanimity has often in my mind resembled a modest, slender, bespectacled older man with suspenders and an unexpressive face, it is actually much deeper than that.
Equanimity, to me, is about consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude and compassion toward the unique set of circumstances that comprise the unfolding of one's life. Being able to find the gift in whatever kind of present is given, moment by moment, each and every day. To be able to approach every person, moment and experience as a teacher, whether this teacher may come in the form of a political enemy, a serious illness or simply someone cutting you off in traffic. We don't get to decide everything that happens to us. But we do have full control and authorship over how we react, or perhaps better yet, respond, to the unfolding of our lives.
It has been said that one man's garbage is another man's treasure. I could not agree more. Going on a 10-day Vipassana meditation course almost 2 years ago taught me a great deal about the power of attitude through my own personal experience. Sitting silently for 10+ hours each day enables a lot of often previously unexamined aches and pains to arise in the body. During Vipassana, I not only became more aware of all the places in my body that I hold on to tightness in, however. I saw firsthand how my negative emotions: frustration, fear, desire, sadness and more were linked to the physical sensations that arose on my body.
And then there were the incessant reactions: "My God, when is this going to be over?!" "Why did I sign up for this torture?!" Sometimes my reactions weren't even actual words, but sounds. Loud screaming inside my mind. Sobbing. I could easily see a small child inside, kicking and screaming in a tantrum, belly face down on the ground, wailing as though there were no tomorrow. A tremendous amount of effort went into these inner uprisings.
Until, finally, the dawn of grace through wisdom. Yes, there is pain. The presence of suffering is, in fact, the first of the four noble truths in Buddhism. Suffering is there. It is a reality - but not a prison, as I had previously thought and felt. My reactions were what really held me captive, as a prisoner of my own mind. No one told me to scream and cry inside - I decided to do that. The realization that I had the power to change the way I reacted to the physical pain I experienced while sitting was a revelation that I carried off the meditation cushion and into my life. Having the awareness of my subconscious reactions to the sensations on my body has led to a sublime sense of inner power and the ability to choose my response to whatever situation arises within and outside of myself. The amount of pain we experience is directly dependent upon the degree to which we react to the suffering that life naturally presents.
I completely agree with Shinzen Young in these sentiments regarding the application of equanimity:
"When you apply equanimity to unpleasant sensations, they flow more readily and as a result cause less suffering. When you apply equanimity to pleasant sensations, they also flow more readily and as a result deliver deeper fulfillment."
I think the word "flow" in these sentences is so key. Equanimity comes from the Latin word "aequus," meaning balanced. "Aequus," however, sounds very similar to "aqua" to me, meaning water. Being balanced, then, to me implies a kind of willingness to follow the flow of life down whatever stream it may go. Being equanimous is like becoming similar to water: able to adapt, adjust and accommodate wherever and whenever needed, to whatever circumstances arise.
Equanimity is a shift in mindset that enables us to perceive how joy and sorrow are but flip sides of the same coin. In Vipassana, Goenkaji shared how, "It is easy enough to remain equanimous when life flows along like a sweet song, but the one who's worthwhile, is the one with a smile, when everything goes dead wrong." Like that, I believe, have seen and experienced for myself how the greatest obstacles in life can really be the greatest opportunities in disguise.
The presence of disease, for example, teaches us that something in our body is out of balance. This realization can spark great changes in one's overall diet and lifestyle. The oily, spicy, heavy food I ate in India often left me with severe stomachaches and once with food poisoning so intense that I could not walk or even sit up straight for days. This experience, however, served as an amazing catalyst for my interest in cooking and being able to create healthier diet options for myself and those in my life.
Experiences of insult and injury have taught me about the tremendous violence that exists so deeply in so many around the world. How those who hurt others hurt themselves the most. Suffering from the hatred and anger of others at times has taught me how to go deeper and deeper within myself to cultivate true compassion, for myself and for others. These experiences have further taught me that there are no "others," which puts me in touch with my Self - in the capital "S" sense, which encompasses all.
To be truly equanimous, I believe, requires tremendous courage, practice, discipline and willpower, as it involves taking everything that comes your way with an open heart. People often think of people who "wear their heart on their sleeve" as being weak-willed and "too soft," or as having "bleeding hearts." I think truly living with an open heart is the ultimate badge of bravery. That it takes a lot of strength to make yourself vulnerable, to be open to being moved by the joys and sorrows of another as if they were your own. There is a beautiful Yoga sutra, number 23 of book 3 of Master Patanjali's, which nicely elucidates this sentiment:
"maitriyadisu balani"
Which means:
"Strength arises out of compassion."
When compassion is true and deeply felt, I believe there is no greater force in this world.
Along with being a way of seeing, an attitude of gratitude and a heart filled with compassion and strength, equanimity to me is also the essence of wisdom. Being able to recognize the cyclical nature of all life: that what goes up, comes also back down, only to go back up again. We are born, live and then die, only to be born again anew. This cycle of birth, death and rebirth is not simply limited to our life spans, but to the process of change and transformation itself. Growth is rarely linear, but rather takes a spiral shape. All the very cells of the body are constantly dying only to be born again, just as do the stars, insects and even trees.
Equanimity, then, implies an acceptance of change as the only constant, providing us the opportunity and invitation to be stoic toward the negative experiences of life and to make the most of what is positive. The essence of remaining equanimous, however, is not merely to seek or crave after positive experiences, but rather to transcend the duality of positive and negative altogether. To go from untruth to truth. From darkness to light. Mortality to immortality. In this transcendental state of Yoga, we can more clearly see the unity in diversity, the all contained in the One, the One contained within all. It is in this space that we can come to know our true Self, as Satchidananda. Truth (sat). Knowledge (chid). And bliss (ananda). This unlimited Self goes beyond our small sense of I, me and mine to embrace the totality of existence. And it is this Self that contains everything we truly seek: it's all there, deep inside the essence of Equanimity.
I'll close by sharing a couple poems inspired by this passage and its reflections:
Prisoner of My Mind
Help me! Please
I am trapped.
Imprisoned.
Enslaved.
Inside the iron walls
of hatred
anger
fear
jealousy
and ignorance.
For ignore I have
the goodness that
is there,
seeking to free me.
Once I was lost
and now I have found
that peace prevails
where inner enemies cease.
Freedom is the
gentle fierceness
of a fearless
state of mind.
When the ego dies,
the soul awakens.
In silence and stillness,
the serenity of the soul
survives - and thrives.
Freedom Is...
Freedom is:
the sweet song of a mockingbird
speaking truth to power
with the lightness and grace of a flower
flowing with love, hour after hour
Freedom is:
a state of mind
that is kind
and one in which I find
no room or reason for a bind.
Freedom is:
the dawn of each new day
waking up with a spirit of play
as if to say
Hey!
Life is what you make of it.
The Lotus Blooms
The lotus flower
blooms in adversity
atrocity
animosity
For there is no greater power
than that which comes from a shower
of struggle
strife
and sorrow
The lotus never forgets
the possibility of tomorrow
Rather than mope,
the lotus is the essence
of Hope................
Equanimity, to me, is about consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude and compassion toward the unique set of circumstances that comprise the unfolding of one's life. Being able to find the gift in whatever kind of present is given, moment by moment, each and every day. To be able to approach every person, moment and experience as a teacher, whether this teacher may come in the form of a political enemy, a serious illness or simply someone cutting you off in traffic. We don't get to decide everything that happens to us. But we do have full control and authorship over how we react, or perhaps better yet, respond, to the unfolding of our lives.
It has been said that one man's garbage is another man's treasure. I could not agree more. Going on a 10-day Vipassana meditation course almost 2 years ago taught me a great deal about the power of attitude through my own personal experience. Sitting silently for 10+ hours each day enables a lot of often previously unexamined aches and pains to arise in the body. During Vipassana, I not only became more aware of all the places in my body that I hold on to tightness in, however. I saw firsthand how my negative emotions: frustration, fear, desire, sadness and more were linked to the physical sensations that arose on my body.
And then there were the incessant reactions: "My God, when is this going to be over?!" "Why did I sign up for this torture?!" Sometimes my reactions weren't even actual words, but sounds. Loud screaming inside my mind. Sobbing. I could easily see a small child inside, kicking and screaming in a tantrum, belly face down on the ground, wailing as though there were no tomorrow. A tremendous amount of effort went into these inner uprisings.
Until, finally, the dawn of grace through wisdom. Yes, there is pain. The presence of suffering is, in fact, the first of the four noble truths in Buddhism. Suffering is there. It is a reality - but not a prison, as I had previously thought and felt. My reactions were what really held me captive, as a prisoner of my own mind. No one told me to scream and cry inside - I decided to do that. The realization that I had the power to change the way I reacted to the physical pain I experienced while sitting was a revelation that I carried off the meditation cushion and into my life. Having the awareness of my subconscious reactions to the sensations on my body has led to a sublime sense of inner power and the ability to choose my response to whatever situation arises within and outside of myself. The amount of pain we experience is directly dependent upon the degree to which we react to the suffering that life naturally presents.
I completely agree with Shinzen Young in these sentiments regarding the application of equanimity:
"When you apply equanimity to unpleasant sensations, they flow more readily and as a result cause less suffering. When you apply equanimity to pleasant sensations, they also flow more readily and as a result deliver deeper fulfillment."
I think the word "flow" in these sentences is so key. Equanimity comes from the Latin word "aequus," meaning balanced. "Aequus," however, sounds very similar to "aqua" to me, meaning water. Being balanced, then, to me implies a kind of willingness to follow the flow of life down whatever stream it may go. Being equanimous is like becoming similar to water: able to adapt, adjust and accommodate wherever and whenever needed, to whatever circumstances arise.
Equanimity is a shift in mindset that enables us to perceive how joy and sorrow are but flip sides of the same coin. In Vipassana, Goenkaji shared how, "It is easy enough to remain equanimous when life flows along like a sweet song, but the one who's worthwhile, is the one with a smile, when everything goes dead wrong." Like that, I believe, have seen and experienced for myself how the greatest obstacles in life can really be the greatest opportunities in disguise.
The presence of disease, for example, teaches us that something in our body is out of balance. This realization can spark great changes in one's overall diet and lifestyle. The oily, spicy, heavy food I ate in India often left me with severe stomachaches and once with food poisoning so intense that I could not walk or even sit up straight for days. This experience, however, served as an amazing catalyst for my interest in cooking and being able to create healthier diet options for myself and those in my life.
Experiences of insult and injury have taught me about the tremendous violence that exists so deeply in so many around the world. How those who hurt others hurt themselves the most. Suffering from the hatred and anger of others at times has taught me how to go deeper and deeper within myself to cultivate true compassion, for myself and for others. These experiences have further taught me that there are no "others," which puts me in touch with my Self - in the capital "S" sense, which encompasses all.
To be truly equanimous, I believe, requires tremendous courage, practice, discipline and willpower, as it involves taking everything that comes your way with an open heart. People often think of people who "wear their heart on their sleeve" as being weak-willed and "too soft," or as having "bleeding hearts." I think truly living with an open heart is the ultimate badge of bravery. That it takes a lot of strength to make yourself vulnerable, to be open to being moved by the joys and sorrows of another as if they were your own. There is a beautiful Yoga sutra, number 23 of book 3 of Master Patanjali's, which nicely elucidates this sentiment:
"maitriyadisu balani"
Which means:
"Strength arises out of compassion."
When compassion is true and deeply felt, I believe there is no greater force in this world.
Along with being a way of seeing, an attitude of gratitude and a heart filled with compassion and strength, equanimity to me is also the essence of wisdom. Being able to recognize the cyclical nature of all life: that what goes up, comes also back down, only to go back up again. We are born, live and then die, only to be born again anew. This cycle of birth, death and rebirth is not simply limited to our life spans, but to the process of change and transformation itself. Growth is rarely linear, but rather takes a spiral shape. All the very cells of the body are constantly dying only to be born again, just as do the stars, insects and even trees.
Equanimity, then, implies an acceptance of change as the only constant, providing us the opportunity and invitation to be stoic toward the negative experiences of life and to make the most of what is positive. The essence of remaining equanimous, however, is not merely to seek or crave after positive experiences, but rather to transcend the duality of positive and negative altogether. To go from untruth to truth. From darkness to light. Mortality to immortality. In this transcendental state of Yoga, we can more clearly see the unity in diversity, the all contained in the One, the One contained within all. It is in this space that we can come to know our true Self, as Satchidananda. Truth (sat). Knowledge (chid). And bliss (ananda). This unlimited Self goes beyond our small sense of I, me and mine to embrace the totality of existence. And it is this Self that contains everything we truly seek: it's all there, deep inside the essence of Equanimity.
I'll close by sharing a couple poems inspired by this passage and its reflections:
Prisoner of My Mind
Help me! Please
I am trapped.
Imprisoned.
Enslaved.
Inside the iron walls
of hatred
anger
fear
jealousy
and ignorance.
For ignore I have
the goodness that
is there,
seeking to free me.
Once I was lost
and now I have found
that peace prevails
where inner enemies cease.
Freedom is the
gentle fierceness
of a fearless
state of mind.
When the ego dies,
the soul awakens.
In silence and stillness,
the serenity of the soul
survives - and thrives.
Freedom Is...
Freedom is:
the sweet song of a mockingbird
speaking truth to power
with the lightness and grace of a flower
flowing with love, hour after hour
Freedom is:
a state of mind
that is kind
and one in which I find
no room or reason for a bind.
Freedom is:
the dawn of each new day
waking up with a spirit of play
as if to say
Hey!
Life is what you make of it.
The Lotus Blooms
The lotus flower
blooms in adversity
atrocity
animosity
For there is no greater power
than that which comes from a shower
of struggle
strife
and sorrow
The lotus never forgets
the possibility of tomorrow
Rather than mope,
the lotus is the essence
of Hope................
DILSHAD SAIFI.......
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